Thursday, May 8, 2008

Fun Facts about the LA

In the spirit of those emails that go around about "Signs you are from Blank", here are some  random observations about LA.

  • Distance is measured in time here, too

  • Traffic is not as bad as people make it out to be

  • Dry heat is different, but 100 F is still damn hot

  • When people say no one in LA is from LA, they are very wrong

  • Hollywood defines much of what LA is, but much of LA is nothing like Hollywood

  • Male celebrities look exactly like you think they will

  • Female celebrities do not

  • For such a big city, the food selection in the supermarkets is terrible

  • Seeing the paparazzi in action may be the most surreal thing you will ever experience

  • Bars close at 2, but liquor stores are always open

  • If you were wondering, they are fake

  • Uggs are apparently comfortable in the middle of summertime

  • I don't think there is one real coffee shop in LA

  • $120 is an acceptable price for a t-shirt

  • "LA time" runs about 45 minutes late

  • Shopping carts move by themselves to locations a parkour enthusiast would balk at reaching

  • Unattended trash will disappear within  12 hours of being placed on, in or near a dumpster or alley

  • The LA River is not a river, was never a river, and usually resembles an empty, blocked off frontage road

  • Standard signage on roads is, in most places, optional

  • Clouds or rain are a sign of the apocalypse and should be treated as such

  • 65 degrees is a reasonable time to break out a winter jacket

  • No one talks like a valley girl

  • No one talks about, or cares about immigration of any kind

  • Donut shops also serve things like fried chicken, and are on every corner

  • West coast fast food chains are better in almost every way, except for the fast part

  • A 2x2, 2x4 and 4x4 are all something you order at In-n-Out, which only has 6 menu items, but about 100 actual things you can eat

  • Standard rules of the road are apparently suggestions

  • Schools look like either haciendas, or low security prisons

  • If you say "State Trooper", it will sound like Cantonese to most people


That does it for now.

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